I don't want to hurt myself anymore.
It's March now and the sun is out (or it's brighter for longer) and it's bitterly cold. I wish that the sun would penetrate my skin so that I could feel warmth and hope and love. I'm scared of feeling things, i'm scared of love though. I dislike my life but there's nothing I can do except mourn for the loss and emptiness of who I'm supposed to be. I can't wait until my life ends, I wouldn't mind an abrupt halt to my life. A nice, welcome surprise it would be. I've just got to hold on five whole days and then at least I am somewhere familiar.
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