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What factors affect how emotional we are

· Personality – By nature, some people are more enthusiastic, excitable and changeable. They may feel as if they’re on an emotional roller coaster ride with unexpected swings in the way they feel.
·  Family norms - Some families are chaotic and unpredictable. It seems like everything that happens to them is a crisis, there are outbursts of emotion, and feelings are intense. Other families are more stable - and they reward staying calm, controlling your emotions and thinking rationally.
· Cultural norms – These can vary widely and they define the norms for a country, culture or social group. For example, the Italians are known for being emotional. They are warm, affectionate, and show how the feel. In contrast, the British are uncomfortable with showing their emotions – and are known for having “a stiff upper lip”.   
· Early life experiences – If our main caregiver was sensitive to us and responded to our needs in an appropriate way then we’re likely to be on a more even keel. However, if our caregiver ignored us, or we picked up the message that a lot of fuss was needed to get a small response then we might have a tendency to over-react. Alternatively, we may have concluded that nothing makes a difference so put up barriers and hardly feel at all.
·  Negative life experience – If you’ve experienced a trauma that shattered your world you may expect the worst, and always be on edge. Alternatively, you may have buried your emotions as way of surviving and now it’s hard for you to feel anything.

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Relaxation Techniques

The secret of dealing effectively with stress is learning how to take control of your mind:
1. Live in the present as much as you can – A lot of our thoughts are fearful, anxious thoughts – worries about what’s going to happen next, and what could go wrong, and what that means for us But concerns about the future only makes us feel much worse – they doesn’t influence the outcome of events. So, focus on the present and what you’re doing now.
2. Take control of your environment – Our home and work environment affect the way we feel. For example, if everything is messy it’s hard to relax as that subtly reminds us of all we need to do. That can, therefore, weigh us down and leave us feeling tired and drained. We don’t know where to start as we feel so overwhelmed. In contrast, fresh flowers, air fresheners, a light environment, and photos and pictures tend to make us feel relaxed, and help improve our mood and leave us feeling happier. 
3. Take up meditation – In meditation we actively quieten our mind, and seek to take control of that restless stream of thought that can stop us from experiencing true inner peace and calm.
4. Stop procrastinating – One of the most effective ways to deal with stress is to consciously prioritise the things you need to do – and then to work on the first item you’ve written on your list. That way, you’ll feel you’re making progress (and you’ll feel less guilty, too).
5. Don’t pay attention to what other people think – You can’t please everyone – and that is not your role. You need to be yourself, and to do what you think’s right, and to have your own opinions and your own points of view. Worrying about others, and what they think of you, will only wear you down (and it’s a moving target, too).
6. Make time for yourself – If you’re always available you’ll stress yourself out. You’re only one person and can’t do it all. You need some time for yourself when you can charge your batteries, and unwind, and replenish your energy reserves.
7. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest – If you’re stuck in a rut and keep doing the same things, so life comes boring and monotonous, you’ll start to feel frustrated and lose your zest for life. But trying something new can help restore your energy, and blow away the cobwebs that are settling on your mind.